Dating versus Hanging Out

So this won't really apply to any of my readers because well the majority of you are either married or dating someone so just read my rant about this and bear with me :) By the way.. I was going to add pictures with this post BUT... I feel like this is more of just a writing one...so no pictures today....


Dating in this society, I feel is almost non-existent. People are always "hanging out" and then by some miraculous discovery some find their one true love. I think that is wonderful for them but they are the exception to the rule (haha that line reminds me of the move "He's Just Not That Into You") ... anyways... I find myself these days more in the "hanging out" zone with everyone else than the "dating" zone which is where everyone SHOULD want to be. What happened to going on dates for fun?? I feel like now a guy (and sometimes girls) feel that if a guy asks you out, he likes you and its serious. That's what the social media has ingrained into our minds and made us think. Why can't a guy ask you out just for fun and to get to know you a little better? That's the way it should be. And I believe that you should also date a few people to weed out all the frogs before you find your prince. I've had people tell friends before that they are players because they were dating a few people at the same time. Hello, in my book, as long as there is no PDA with ALL of them, it's totally fine. When you are getting to know people, it's okay to date a few people. It's NOT okay however to lead someone on.

I'm old fashioned. I admit it honestly and openly. I HATE asking guys out on dates. I feel like it should be their duty and respectful if they are the ones asking. I know some guys are shy and that's okay, most girls are nice about turning down a date or even saying yes :) I think I'm so old fashioned because EVERY (I'm emphasizing that) time I have asked a guy out, it has been bad.  Not like, oh sad... he said no... no.. its been more of that I've had guys ignore me, say rude things about me, you name it, it has probably happened, when I have asked a guy out. SO.... my wall goes up and I don't like asking guys on dates. I think that's probably why I have a hard time asking guys in general for anything. I'm getting better though (asking for help I mean... still no on the dating part lol) One of my biggest things that bothers me is when friends tell you "Oh he likes you!".... How many times have you heard that line before? My friends in high school used to tell me that ALL the time and I would believe them and then be crushed when I found out that he liked someone else or was dating someone else. I know my friends didn't mean to do it on purpose...that was just one of the joys of high school I guess. That doesn't happen anymore and I like it that way. I don't want to get my hopes up for something that there isn't even a remote possibility of "liking" or whatever the case may be. The point is, is that you date people, to get to know them more... and then see if something is there. I actually joined a dating site to see if that would help at all with dating and nope... not really. I won't even say what website it was because some of it was helpful, and some not so much. I've been reading tips on dating and so forth but I feel like every guy is different so you can't apply a list of things to ALL guys.

I have spent YEARS trying to understand guys and the way they think and act and while I understand them a little bit better now.... they are STILL a mystery. I think it's meant to be that way though. I was having a good conversation with a friend last night about dating and how it's hard when the person you are dating isn't on the same level as you. Dating in general is hard and these days, it's even harder. I've been thinking about this topic for quite some time actually. Probably since the beginning of January when I realized that I'm getting to be up there in age (haha I feel so old!) and the dating prospects are very, very slim.

I was reading an article by Dallin H. Oaks about this subject and it made me feel A LOT better. I just wish everyone would remember this talk and apply it to their lives. If you would like you read it click here. It's a great talk and he gives a lot of great advice.

I think part of the problem with dating too is intimidation. Remember when I posted about that? Click here if you want to re-read that post :) I will admit it, I have been intimidated by guys. One in particular as of recent but only because for the first time in a long time, I have no idea what to say. I feel like my words would be inadequate or not up to par. Sounds kind of lame I know and I'm actually kind of over the intimidation... it doesn't need to be like that. I can be bold and say what's on my mind. I had a friend tell me once that wow, that's impressive you just spoke your mind on the matter. Yep, that's how I roll these days haha ... I don't mind telling you what I think or how I feel about the situation because really, it's better to be honest right?

I do have to add the one glitch about dating for fun. And that is.... when you date, you are getting to know the person and finding out if you are interested or not. The glitch is when you find out you ARE interested and the other person is not. That's the hard part. And this applies to both men and women. I don't have any ideas on what to say here because I honestly don't know what would help that. You can't help who you fall for, but you are strong enough to move on to someone who is better and right for you instead of waiting around to see what happens next. It's hard when you find out the feeling isn't mutual but move on.... there is something better for you out there :)

Anyways, dating is kind of non-existent for me right now. Dating is a SERIOUS business here... hanging out is more like it haha...Kind of sad in a way but that's the way people roll here... I wish I could change that. I'm only one person and can only do so much but maybe this post will help. No... it probably won't...  but it's just good to write what's on my mind :) Any suggestions from you readers would be helpful though :) Love you all!! And thanks for reading my real, intense thoughts. :)