What comes next?

So this is kind of personal for me but I figure I might as well write about it ...maybe I'll feel a little better after who knows haha. Since I was 5 years old I knew I wanted to be a nurse. Granted back then I only wanted to because I thought my aunt's scrubs were cool and I wanted to be just like her. As I grew older, I found that I have a passion for caring for others and I knew I wanted to be a nurse and care for others the way they ought to be. After I graduated from high school I had my goal set in mind and I pursued it. I had no desire to go to a big university, I liked the smaller classroom sizes and so community college it was. I'm not ashamed at all in going to community college, it was cheaper, I paid for most of it myself and I learned a lot, just as much as someone attending a big university. I knew that while doing my pre-requisites I wanted to get into Valley who had a high pass rate for boards. I was determined, I had a goal set in mind and I achieved it.  20 years later and my dream has been achieved, I'm an RN but now the question is what comes next? 


For years all I've known is what I want to do and how to get it and stay focused. I always didn't know what to say to my friends who were undecided with their majors because I always just knew. I'm starting to understand what they must've felt like and I'm sorry I couldn't be more understanding then. Now that I have my RN, it's search for jobs that comes next. If only it were that easy, find a job, get a job and work. The problem now is deciding WHERE to look for jobs. I have been looking at a lot of places (yes outside of my comfort zone Cali too) but the problem is I don't know where I'm supposed to be next and it's frustrating me. 


I've been praying hard to know where to apply and where I'm supposed to be. It's a struggle I've never really had to face before because the answer has always come so clearly when it came to which school I needed to go to and so on. I have my whole life ahead of me and I have no idea where it will be. I will go wherever I'm needed, I just pray I make the right decision when it comes down to it. I want a job that I love that I enjoy. I do not want to be one of those nurses who took a job just because and hates it. That is not what kind of nurse I want to be. I apply to jobs at least 5 a day so when you add that up that's 25 per week...give or take. It's very draining to get rejection letters and nothing else but I am still hopeful. The right job is out there for me somewhere I just have to find it. 


I'm not mad or venting about this, it's just something I've come to realize that for once I'm undecided or unsure as to what comes next. I have a lot of people praying for me and I know that prayers work so I know that something will turn up eventually. I am grateful for all the kind nurse recruiters I have talked to that send me all kinds of info..problem is most of them I have to wait until March/April to apply for their June new grad programs. If that's what needs to be done then so be it. I will just have to wait until then I guess unless something comes up sooner. What comes next for me? That is still undecided but life is an adventure so  we'll see where it takes me! :)